League 2 Anyone?

Is it me or was that just a completely underwhelming Premier League opening weekend. Is it always like that? I can’t recall I think Sky has distorted my memory. Didn’t we only use to get the league table after 3 games? Why do we need instant gratification? Sky's gradual build up from the start of summer accelerates throuhout reaching it’s crescendo on the opening weekend. The hype is so much so that it’s almost guaranteed to be an absolute belter. I suppose it’s like English’s summers it’s always better in years gone by or so that charlatan Michael Fish would have you believe.  In truth I was left distinctly short changed. I’m sure it was better last year? It was, wasn’t it Michael? ‘Yea it was great last year’ I thought so.

Regular as clock-work I’ll receive a text shortly after Match of the Day has finished and the Football league round up commences. A long the lines of  ‘you watching this? It’s real football’ I never am as I don’t have the inclination and it’s way past my bedtime. But I think I might start watching it or at the very least sky plus it. Apparently it’s end to end with plenty of goals. What more do you want out of a game of football? Not a lot I suppose.

I must confess I’m growing tried of the add ons you get in the PL, Diving, cheating, simulation call it what you like it’s all got boring a long while ago. I’m not just referring to the Barton / Gervinho incident but we might as well start there. More than anything I was left bemused by the whole charade. Barton couldn’t wait to register his displeasure ranting about cheats on twitter. Excusing his actions of collapsing under no duress with the retort ‘if I hadn’t gone down the ref wouldn’t have know’ The irony that Gevinino was perhaps trying to do the same as he went down claiming a penalty was probably lost on the Liverpudlian philosopher. The problem is the FA will charge both teams for failing to control their players. But in my opinion the melee that followed is not the issue. If that 20 man ‘coming together’ happens after Barton came through the back of Song, who in turn stamped on Barton, then fine. These incidents are going to happen in football it’s fast paced, tackles are mistimed, folk will get the hump and react badly. But to bundle in after that nonsense is a little embarrassing and Barton protesting against the very thing he did is somewhat hypocritical. But it’s not just Barton, although he is an easy target. Lampard and Torres both tried conning the ref, two players you would expect better from. It all just leaves an unpleasant taste resonating and you feel, well just a little cheated. It wasn’t always like this was it Michael? ‘Nah it was great a few years ago’ I thought so.

So maybe I will invest a little more time in the lower leagues. Besides it’s real football ain’t it.

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Keep it down the football's about to start.

So these riots are getting a bit much, there was talk of postponing the cricket! And even going as far as cancelling the footie this weekend in effected areas. I mean these young upstart looters are giving good old fashioned football thuggery a bad name.  So much so that 200 “Millwall fans” turn up in Eltham (South London) to ‘protect’ the high street from potential looters, it’s always Millwall fans isn’t it? It could have been Glasgow and it would have still been “Millwall Fans”.  I’d like to believe their intentions were good so this feeling of pride doesn’t sink into one of guilt. The fact that they caused the police an extra burden (as any vigilante group would) is, I suppose, secondary to the fact that you can only push people so far before something’s going to give.  Though this is a both and sickening and fascinating discussion point, this is a light hearted sports blog so that's what we’ll talk about; sport.... You see the thing is it’s no coincidence that the effected areas are amongst the poorest in the country. There's no easy answer to determine why this has happened on the scale that it has. The core organisation can only succeed with the sheep like obedience of the opportunist, without them you don’t have the masses and the upraising can be curbed, or so I read on the Guardian website, anyway football… I’ll be gutted if they cancel any of the opening Premier League fixtures. The football League got underway last week and that was exciting enough. The Scottish League had their mandatory 3 days break before resuming. It’s all kicking off and I can’t wait. 

The safe bet again this year is whoever finishes above Man United will win the league. I’m sure this will be the most competitive in years, City and Chelsea have both strengthened. Spurs have retained some key players which is probably more important than any new signing. Wenger clearly concerned that his first team average age was creeping over 20 has bought the next 17 year old wonder kid. I wager Arsenal fans didn’t see that one coming. Liverpool have bought well and by well I mean terribly spending a borrow load of money on dross. So knowing my predictions expect them to challenge for the title. United have added in the key areas and still hope to add Wesley Sneijder, who is the perfect replacement for the retiring Paul Scholes, who been integral to United way of play over the last generation. So here’s hoping that the mindless violence and destruction over the last couple of days that has shamed a nation can give way to something we can all be proud of the most entertaining football league in the world.

Plus well done to the chap that started the #cleanuplondon campaign. The best in people can often come out as a result of the worse in people. That sounds like something out of super hero movie. Oh that's right it's a piece of dialogue from my self penned 'umbrella man'. One man wages war on the English changeable weather. I'm so very lonely.

Tennis anyone?

OK so I thought I’d left it long enough I’ll have to write something about Wimbledon just to satisfy my Daily Mail royalist followers. We’ve already had the obligatory strawberries, cream and rain but thankfully this year no Cliff. He wasn’t invited, apparently it had nothing to do with the unconfirmed rumour that he complained that the ball boys looked too old and more to do with untimely out burst all those years ago. No-one wants to here Summer Holiday acapella (or from Fabio for that matter) and to emphasise that very point the LTA built a roof costing a few million pounds just to stop it happening again, take the hint Cliff.

Now I must confess I’m a closet tennis fan and have a lot of man love for Roger Federer, so my interest waned with his departure. I was pleased by his reaction though, no tears more dignity and apparently in the changing room he performed an excellent parody of Danny Glover character in Lethal weapon; dusting himself down and with classic Federer timing delivered the immoral line ‘I’m getting to old for this shit’ trust me Nadal piss’s himself at that little number.

I still can’t look at centre without thinking what a great 5 aside football pitch it would make but also what heritage and OK we didn’t invent tennis but it’s still considered the home of the game (give us something it’s not as if we’re any good at it). Which seamlessly leads me on to Andy Murray. That's a little unfair on the surly Scot, he been part of the established top 4 for a few years and he could argue that he’s bang unlucky being at his peak at the same time as Federer and Nadal, so credit were it’s due. But when life’s grossly unfair like that, you’ve just gotta laugh right? But he’s way to serious where his sense of humour?  I mean that attempted beard was pretty funny but he must have a heart of stone not to laugh at the ‘Come on Tim’ gags. 

Jo Wilfried Tsonga was a revelation embracing the very essence of Wimbledon with his athletic net game, leaping airborne even when it wasn’t really unnecessary, even Boris was impressed though he had just nipped back from the Nobu after lunch, so was in a good mood. Tsonga eventually lost out to a superior Djokovic who’s form this year may even have him slight favourite in the final but only if you were a little crazy, as he’s playing Nadal. My respect for Nadal increases with ever tournament I’d always judged him with an unfair Federer bias but in truth, if he’s not better he’s certainly on a par and it’s about time people started referring to him as the greatest of all time. It’s only a matter of time before he surpasses Fereder’s 16 slams and once us Federer fans accept that, the sooner we can really start to appreciate Nadal for what he is; the very embodiment of a true winner. So even if you’re rooting for Djokovic with alterior motive tomorrow just remember that Nadal will be considered an all time great so just let it happen and enjoy it. 

With all the hype about tomorrow final can you imagine if Murray had got there?Still it's not all bad news when it comes to British tennis, Laura Robson’s performed well and she could be the next great white hope. And word is we have a young lad; Liam Brady who’s made the boys final so here’s hoping! Oh and it turns out he’s got a mustard left foot and all..

The future's Bright the future's red

Well nice to see that mini international football mirrors that of it’s slightly balding greying older brother. As a group of mostly experienced English premier league players get passed off the park by a technically superior Spanish outfit. I had convinced myself that the result was secondary and that individual performances were key. Until we equalised with just minutes remaining, of course then rightfully determining that the result was all important. Which was handy as outside the Spanish team there wasn’t too much to shout about. The one shining light for England was that of right back Kyle Walker who was as good going forward as he was defensive, qualities perhaps not associated with Glen Johnson the current full international incumbent.

Though England relinquish large amounts of possession, in truth we were sound defensively limiting Spain the few clear cut chances. That said they were surprising un-assured at corners considering the teams involved but unlike natural ability that is something that can be coached, so little emphasis should be put on that. Besides the ultimate goal from these tournaments is to identify just a handful of players who can make the step up to become a full international. Chris Smalling and Brad Jones again played well defensively but where woeful in possession. Adopting for the long ball more often than not. Smalling in particular seemly lofting the ball high as it went long, whatever happened to pinging the ball?

Henderson seems very average and Mancienne seemed happy to let the game pass him by rarely showing short, perhaps this was the managers instructions to hit the ball long early to stretch the game, the Spanish philosophy is to press high, so there is logic there. But with that approach it's probably best not play with two strikers who do their best work on the shoulder of the last man. Still Psycho, the man who made a living from the ‘non league channel ball’ has to be the right man for the job right? God forbid we get dragged into a decent game of football. But what about the peno celebration in 96! Yea good shout you can’t argue with passion that’s exactly what England lack, forget this tippy tappy nonsense, can’t we forge Lee Cattermole’s birth certificate or something.

In truth maybe I’m doing Stuart Pearce an injustice but if your opposition rarely gives the ball away surely it’s football 101 to try look after it as best you can? Still it’s important to take the positives, England could feasibly go on and win the tournament then once again we’re have a golden generation to look forward to, remember you heard it here first, I for one never doubted them. Best team in the world.  All together now; EN-G-LAND repeat until cooked throughout.

Pre Holiday Blues

Sorry this blog is a late and somewhat lethargic but I was a little tried I mean I’ve posted 20% more entries than my opposing Swiss counterpart Le pêche absolue. Beside the season’s finished and I thought I’d go on holiday early to sit on a sofa in some poncy beach bar in Marbella, jeez what a terrible performance. I’m not intentionally trying to discredit the Swiss who more than deserved a result. But still you’ve got to be looking to win these games. I mean this is qualifying right? If we have aspirations of eventually winning the tournament this should be no less than a comfortable victory. Maybe we need to scale down our self-proclaimed ranking amongst the footballing elite. I went to game and if I had of paid I would have asked for my money back. As it happens I’ve still got the hump with the person who got me the tickets, I mean what did I ever do to them?

I’m not one to irrationally demand the immediate resignation of the manager as soon as a ball is mis-controlled. But Capello OUT! I jest. But he doesn’t make life easy for himself. Milner didn’t featured heavily for City in their impressive end of season finish.  But he gets a start for England. Granted it was a warm day and England had used their 3 subs but towards the end he just looked off the pace, surely Capello must have seen that coming? He’s simply not match fit. Lampard hadn’t done much in the first but a goal does wonders for the confidence and that wasn’t exploited. Bring Ashley Young on wasn’t the problem, though I’ll stand by my earlier judgement that he’s not the answer to whatever your question is. Unless that question is ‘Who dives too much and thinks he’s a little better than he actually is? Admittedly my stance on AY is a little irrational but I’ve picked my corner. The fact remained that an injection of pace was needed. And I can’t argue that his finish was clinical and indeed needed.

Poor old Darren Bent, the problem with a striker like him is he will always nick you a goal usually unexpected but he’ll never have that composure you associate with the top players. Folks tend to remember the glaring misses and cue ‘my old women could have scored that’ on FB status’s up and down the country.  There’s something very Andy Cole about him.  With the recently spate of players retiring from the international scene. We are reminded how harshly Andy or Andrew Cole (his momma call him Andy I’ll call him Andy) was treated. Remember the ‘I’m also retiring from International football’ T-Shirts, hilarious by the way. So lets not get on Bent’s back, there’s talent there, football’s all about confidence and momentum. He’s scored goal in the premier league for years and will continue to do so. And I’m not having that international football is a step up it’s not, only mentally perhaps. So inevitably he must start scoring goals for England soon right?... Right? Forget this Where’s my ‘Come back Crouchy’ T-shirt gone.

Champions but not of Europe.

So I only watched the first 10 minutes of the Champions League final, there was an Extreme Makeover Special on the other side. I assumed United smashed it right? Oh! They started well enough. So that was Fergie’s A game; run around like lunatics for 90 minutes. No one dare mention they tried that two years ago and failed in fear of the ‘Hairdryer’ or worse still the Beckham treatment. Of course there was no future in trying out hassle Barcelona, they get that every week.

The game panned out pretty much exactly how the bookies had said it would. But that wasn’t the most annoying thing nor was it the plaudits Messi received over the weekend, though both grated on me. A small caveat regarding Messi; Granted he’s the best player of his generation & he did score but come on Van Der Saar should have done better with his goal. I know he didn’t so it’s academic but I’m struggling to think of anything he did better than any other Barca player? And I know he scored but I’ve already explained VDS should have save it, man I would have saved it! Though that’s slightly unfair as I’m pretty tidy in-between the sticks. In fact the most annoying thing was United saw Inter Milan get the better of Barcelona last year by not playing into their hands.  Adopting the ‘we don’t want the ball, you can keep it’ approach. This has it's pit falls but if you’re clinical it’s proven successful in the past. I’ve yet to see anyone out-play Barcelona so why try? That certainly doesn’t mean you need to employ Antonio Valencia as your midfield enforcer. What was the lad thinking? He’d been excellent up to and after his injury but then he decides that running at and beating players isn’t his game, instead he's gonna rough them up a bit. I know it was born out of frustration but it was just plain silliness. In truth I think only Rooney from the United ranks came out with any credit, his tireless running is a guarantee and great finish to boot clawed United back into it albeit briefly.

So let’s all congratulate Barcelona for a well deserved victory but excuse me if I don’t revel in their smugness and in my humble un-paid opinion nor should you either. Fergie touched on the increase of tribalism in the domestic game in a pre match interview. I think that highlights the heighten power and exposure of the Premier League and the pull of your local team. The fact that a fan of a English club would prefer a Spanish side win a European competition over their English counterpart is, well just a little foreign to me.  No clever wording intended. Frankly enjoying another loses perhaps only papers over the cracks in your own team’s failures.

It was a shame for the United who finally surpassed the 18^th League titles of arch rivals Liverpool. But now they have a new goal of equalling the 5 Champions League/European cups won by the same nemesis, nothing stirs the juices like local bragging rights. Apparently Rooney’s England buddy Stevie Gerrard was seen celebrating United defeat and the pictures have been splashed all over Twitter. Rest assured @Wazza8 & @Rio5 were online immediately registering their displeasure.  The thing is I did want United to win but had they won, they wouldn’t have half gone on about it.

Survival Sunday

It was billed as ‘Survival Sunday’ ‘it’s 2 of 5 that will drop’ as those friendly folk at Sky would happily reminded us. On days like today they’re just in their element! There were plenty of  ‘Many more twists and turns’ ‘Press red button’ ‘The table as it stands’ relegation bingo was at full flow! Jeff and the boys were in typically fine fettle and the Paul Merson for PM campaign continues to gather pace. Sky absolutely love it and for me it’s great viewing. I even forgot my team were playing, which is fortunately as they lost.

 

It’s always a shame that someone has to going down. Inevitably you’re going kinda like whoever it is, as usually it’s the plucky underdog that’s fought all season but falls just short at the final hurdle, step up Blackpool. The premier league will be a less exciting place without them and I think there’s even a place for Ian Holloway. But with Holloway very much like the drunk kid you see every now and again who pulls down his pants at the party, it just ain’t the same watching him do it week in week out. Especially when he has a habit of contradicting himself fairly regularly. But still there’s always room for a drunk pulling down their pants right?

The irony that comes with Birmingham’s exit was they were 3 minutes away from their best season in recently history. If Wolves hadn’t had scored their second it’s unlikely they would have conceded, thus staying up. Having secured the league cup and a European spot for next year with premier league 

survival, McLeish could have expected the keys to the city. Now all he’ll get is the keys to a cheap mid range Chinese import. Actually I’ve no idea how Carson Yeung made his money, I’m hoping cars. I suppose I could Wikipedia it.. OK it was penny stocks and a Casino, there no joke there I’m sticking with cars.

 

But it wasn’t all rainy days and Sunday night bath time. Three clubs escaped the drop on the final day, so there was reason to cheer. And cheer they did, crowd invasions and kids kissing TV cameras. Roberto Martinez the Wigan manager was so elated he threw his jacket into the crowd forgetting to take out his wallet. The wallet was return missing £17.58 but bearer bonds totalling a 25% stake in JJB sports unfortunately remained. He said after the game he’d felt like he’d won a trophy but in truth it was probably more than that. These clubs are now a slave to the reddies and dropping out the division has serious repercussions on the bank balance and not just the club’s, those managers who just survived the drop can expect to get a regular pay check over the summer, where as for the others I not so sure.